A Reflection from the Choir Stall

by Benedictine Oblate Dr. Richard Fitzgerald    

The fragmented fraction of the consecrated communion host sits on my tongue awakening the senses and introspection. It is unleavened, of little taste, processed fine flour and pure water, specially chosen, mixed, baked, cut into portions, inspected, packaged, shipped, inventoried, consecrated, and now, distributed to me just as to others attending this mass. Here, we are all alike, searching for and comforted by a peace. Others around the world are also participating in this activity – in churches, at home, in hospitals, on battlefields and disaster areas. That thought intrigues me.

This day the communion bread is an irregular fragment of a larger round disk host, often referred to as “a priest host.” In this more intimate mass at Mepkin all share the same host – we “break bread” indicative of the broken body of Christ. The fragment indicative of the broken body of Christ. This priest host is of the same substance as the more commonly offered round host emblematic of eternity and purity of the Christ. The bread is batched, prepared and consecrated the same.

My tongue senses the lack of leaven and I connect this eucharist to the time of the Jewish Passover bridged by the Last Supper seder beginning the Easter Triduum. My question is what happens with me, now, after this experience? Can I be a source of leaven? Can I be a force to spread the message of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ? “A bad apple can spoil the barrel,” we all understand. 1 Corinthians 5: 6-8 discouraged corrupt behavior as scandalous. On the other hand, a Christian perspective might spread an improved texture and light, airy, more nutritious, and palatable product. Certainly, a little leaven can exert influence throughout its’ environment. The kingdom of God is said to be like leaven worked throughout. (Lk 13:20-21; Mt 13:33)

If I am to be the leaven of my own Christian mission, how can I knead my ingredients beyond their bare essentials. How best to be nurtured, rest and rise in preparation for a better product?  In kneading, things are turned over, components push against themselves, allow and force structural bits to morph into new, more complex relationships. After a time of protected resting, the leaven provides for the rising, a generation of a more generous base to be processed and distributed. Too little kneading is insufficient for complete transformation. Too much can make for a stiff less delicious bake.

I swallow the host, the mass is ended. I go in peace.